So frustrating

I have a child with an intellectual disability at home. They require a lot of care. Both my spouse and I work, and we share household chores, but I'm always spoken to condescendingly. And the words are really harsh. Even if it's directed at the child, hearing it makes me uncomfortable. When I say, 'Shut up,' I get about five times worse back. They say we don't communicate in our household. Am I the only one who doesn't feel like talking to someone like that?