Feeling exhausted from being human

Sigh~ Besides physical and mental sickness, my fear of loss has been amplified so much. I can't accept that even losing something as small as a bottle of water or a hair tie can make me feel down for a long time. Doesn't that sound pathological? But I just can't escape this heavy mindset of gain and loss. Even when I tell myself, 'It's a cheap item, it's nothing, I can just buy another one or find another way, there are many alternatives...' and try to comfort myself, I still fall into a vicious cycle of depression. Others might say: 'Find a focus, pursue a hobby, exercise, believe in God...' blah blah blah. I actually know all of that is useful. Playing games on Playio or elsewhere also makes me happy (though I shouldn't be too much of a shut-in and need to go out moderately). But I just accidentally deleted my game account,呜呜呜. Although I was still in the beginner stages, I spent hours of effort, and it still feels so frustrating and regrettable. Sometimes I think: 'Why didn't I think of this earlier, or couldn't I have experimented with things in other ways?' Actually, how things develop isn't the main point; it always comes back to my own mindset of gain and loss. I'm self-aware that it's already beyond the normal range, even to the point where it lowers my immunity and makes me prone to getting sick. Sigh~ It does feel a bit better to share this with you all, but I still feel so frustrated and sometimes so tired I want to cry. Although I have friends and a boyfriend who love me, I still feel like I have to overcome and improve this inner demon myself! I'm running out of characters, so I'll stop here for now.