So close yet...

It's almost Boski's birthday... but Right after that nightmare related to PTSD the other day, the windows and doors started rattling due to strong winds in reality, like a double blow... Ever since then, everything feels distant. Both the bad things and the important things... I know I'll definitely regret it when I snap out of it if I dwell on this, but when I try to take action, my [brain🧠] just refuses.