정무무
A relationship where friends only exchange gifts
I sometimes find myself contemplating the act of exchanging gifts between friends. There's a friend of mine who, since taking a leave of absence, rarely initiates contact. However, they do send gifts on special occasions like Pepero Day or White Day. At first, I'd just accept them and reciprocate, but over time, I started to overthink things. I wondered if it truly holds meaning to exchange gifts only on holidays when we barely catch up otherwise. So, after some thought, I decided to decline the gift this time and let them know I'd gratefully accept their kind thoughts instead. It's not that I dislike gifts, but the idea of exchanging them formally in a situation where we hardly communicate felt a bit burdensome. Of course, I appreciate the sentiment, but the thought of having to exchange gifts every time also lingers, and now this dynamic feels a bit awkward. Isn't it more important in a relationship to check in on each other and show interest regularly, rather than just through gifts? What would you have done in this situation? Is it okay for me to just accept their thoughts like I did?
2026.11.10 PM 9:20 · View Count 774
Join the Board and leave a comment.
Hey you, aren't gifts supposed to be delicious? Why are you refusing it like an idiot when you should just gratefully accept it... Ugh...
Lv.101
스티브노잡스
If that friend is a guy, giving each other gifts seems a bit weird. I'd probably change it to buying a drink or a meal. But if it's a female friend, I guess it could happen.
Lv.14
샤인1234
Oh wow, it's Pepero Day tomorrow, now that you mention it.
Lv.28
dani9999
Personally, I also feel like it's not quite right to just exchange gifts, so I think we'll just exchange feelings :)
Lv.113
뼈저리게후회된다
It's meaningless. Just formality.. ㅡㅡ I think a call to check in would be more welcome than that. You did well.. I 100% agree. Totally agree.
Lv.101
kimkei
I see.. It seems a bit ambiguous..
Lv.103
pieceee
I declined too. And it's a similar situation, I sent a birthday gift but I wasn't expecting anything in return for my birthday. However, when I received a gift on my birthday, I felt burdened and didn't send one next time. I think my friend sent one because they received one.
Lv.93
mintmint
Since we have to exchange similar values anyway... it's better not to receive or give.
Lv.82
채재파더
I guess it's a friend you'd be sad to let go of... but if it's a burden, you did the right thing.
Lv.70
Lilava
Hmm, I don't think I would have accepted it either. It's not like we don't see each other often even though we keep in touch, and if we don't contact each other much normally, it would feel a bit burdensome. Of course, the other person probably meant well, but if it continues to be just exchanging gifts on specific days without any contact, it starts to feel like a formality without any real feeling, right? I'd also wonder why they only give gifts without really reaching out, but whatever the reason, I probably wouldn't have accepted it either.
Lv.62
꿍이네
I guess you think of Jeongmu-mu every time, haha. Maybe you're sending it to check if they're okay (?), haha. It's a shame, it would have been better if they had just contacted you once, haha.
Lv.101
페코8
It's nice to receive gifticons, but I also worry about what to give in return, and I feel like it's too easily done. Of course, it's better than not sharing anything, right?
Lv.107
킴꿍꿍
It's just cleanest if we don't give or receive anything from each other.
Lv.114
뿅뿅뿅이
Seriously... if you keep sending them meaninglessly, you'll get that 'what am I even doing' feeling ㅠㅠㅠ
Lv.22
카카오야호
Let's just exchange likes.
Lv.74
ht0917
I think asking how someone is doing is polite.
Lv.37
KMK_BK
😅
Lv.100
Helios_is_home
Hmm, I can see why you're conflicted. Some people might just accept the gift and move on, but I also feel burdened by just receiving things and can only feel at ease when I reciprocate. It's strange to receive a gift without even a simple greeting... Of course, greetings can also feel perfunctory, so I'm cautious, and I don't know what your friend is thinking, but if communication itself has become difficult, it might be easier to politely decline. I also have a friend I was close with for over a decade, like a best friend, but after COVID, we haven't seen each other. We've drifted apart due to being busy with our own lives, and it's quite sad that we now only exchange holiday greetings and birthday wishes. I tend to make friends and acquaintances with a select few due to my personality, but even that is hard to maintain. Relationships are just so difficult...
Lv.85
StephenCurry
l
Lv.107
짠내나는테크
At some point, I also stopped giving gifts for meaningless holidays.