Peiise
Matchmaker God's Performance Plummets! His Red Thread Was Cut as Sexual Harassment
After the Heavenly Realm's annual performance review, Goddess Zhusheng tiptoed over to the Marriage Department. Seeing the tangled mess of red threads all over the floor, she poked Yue Lao, who was rubbing his temples, "Old Yue, I heard your success rate for helping people find partners has hit an all-time low? My baby-delivering business is going to suffer too!" Yue Lao wailed in agony, "Don't even mention it! People are too defensive these days. As soon as I tie the thread, they yell 'Sexual Harassment!'" The Goddess looked utterly confused. Yue Lao pointed at the scissors on the ground and broke down, "Last month, I tried to orchestrate a 'love at first sight' moment. The man just reached out to help the woman, and she immediately pulled out pepper spray and shouted 'Pervert!' At a matchmaking event, when the guy asked 'What do you usually like to do?', the woman treated it like an interrogation and took screenshots to post online for public shaming. Dating now is like espionage; their defensive towers are built higher than Taipei 101! Before I can even tie a knot with my red thread, they snip it all up with their own 'Boundary Setting Scissors'!" Yue Lao declared: It's great if you're handsome, but if you're ugly, it's sexual harassment. It's too difficult! This scene perfectly captures the comedy of modern romance. Swiping left and right on dating apps, people complain about players while also lamenting Yue Lao's strike. The deities intend to bestow good fortune, but humans are busy with background checks and risk assessments. Yue Lao's matchmaking is harder than defusing a bomb, and he probably needs to draft a legal disclaimer first. Upon hearing this, Goddess Zhusheng patted his shoulder sympathetically and sighed softly, "Maybe... we should both quit and sell pepper spray instead? It's so hard to tie a simple red thread these days!" It's true... the news about sexual harassment claims seems to be much higher than before. But people who don't want to get married have also increased, so maybe Yue Lao shouldn't tie soulmates and should just focus on romantic flings?
2026.09.15 AM 9:57 · View Count 216
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Lv.98
珈jia
Haha, that's pretty funny.
Lv.100
平凡歐皇
So fun!

