The Terror of Being Dominated by a Dog's Tail: I'm Getting Hit, Rip is Flying

It was a sunny weekend, and I took my dog, Rip, for a walk in the park. As soon as we reached the lawn, an overly enthusiastic Labrador Retriever charged at me. This Lab was wagging its tail like a motor-powered propeller, and each swing hit my calves squarely, making a crisp "whack! whack! whack!" sound. I maintained a polite smile, but winced in pain, saying, "Wow! This Lab is too enthusiastic! Its tail is really hurting my legs!" Seeing me "under attack," Rip's protective instincts instantly kicked in. He frowned, clenched his little fists, and thought, "My owner is in danger! I must protect her!" So, Rip let out a loud bark and leaped into the air, attempting to pounce and subdue this "vicious dog." However, Rip severely underestimated the power of the Lab's tail. Just as he jumped into mid-air, the Labrador's tail, like a high-speed helicopter rotor, precisely met him. "Whoosh! Whack! Whack!" With a muffled sound like a sonic boom, Rip was hit hard in the air, his entire chubby body instantly turning into a meteor and flying straight out of the frame. "Rip?!" I exclaimed in shock, while my legs were still enduring the relentless onslaught of the dog's tail. Meanwhile, Rip, tumbling through the air with stars in his eyes, grumbled in existential doubt, "I... I got hit and flew away too?!" The story originated from my post "Labrador Retriever Weaponized Records." Rip said he would protect me from getting hit by dog tails... I told you Rip, you're small and you'll get sent flying, but you didn't believe me 🫠